Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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