I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
