hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
