can u get pink eye on your cock?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
