Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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