omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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