Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
