You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize