You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
