So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
