Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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