and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
