Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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