If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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