1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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