Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
