Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
