Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
the liver wants what the liver wants
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
