Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
