hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
