Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
