I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this boner is exhausting
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
