big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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