He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
