we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
