Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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