If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
