I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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