This girl is more easily done than said...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
