i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize