i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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