I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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