i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
