Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
