I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
