Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
