TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
