Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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