i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
