Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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