Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
