hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Randomize
