Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
