I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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