I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Found your dick twin last night
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I could fuck to npr.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
