I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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