'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize