i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
