If that was your dad, he is hot
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wish you could order shots online.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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