i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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