I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
