Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
