Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
