Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize