I just saw a hot homeless man
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
