one two three fourrrrnication!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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