Your tits are I can't wait for
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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