Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize