He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
