whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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