I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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