I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
