quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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