I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
