I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize