Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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