Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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