I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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