Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He did a backflip because drugs
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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