Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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